Tuesday, September 23, 2008

"Just One Year"

The Fourth Trimester. Grammatically incorrect, for one thing--but much more than just a cutesy phrase, much more than The Thompson Twins or the Fifth Beatle--this thing is as real as it gets, and mine is over--THANK GOD! Because as I have probably made quite clear, that fourth trimester, that last 13-week cycle that started with a lil' seed and ended with a robust baby and Mama (yes! robust! I am feeling grrrreat lately!) has come and gone. That fourth trimester can blow away any morning sickness, any stressful caregiver searches, any blood test result anxiety, any acid reflux, achy boobies, migraines, swollen tootsies, varicose veins, shifting bones, displaced pelvises, sciatica, rude relatives or even jacked up birth-plans. The fourth Trimester can be a BEEYOTCH. Say it! BEEEEYOTCH! Say it like Snoop Dogg! that was a DOOZY ((((((grandest of understatements)))))

Yep, just about a year ago, there was a teeny weeny cataclysmic thang goin' on and it was a microscopic Eskarina Poppy-seedling and buckle up Miss Joy, cuz here we go again. Pee on the stick. Get so excited. Get so worried. Dont Tell Hubby(two minutes later../gottaTell Hubby. Dont tell Grandma. Damed if you do and Damned if you dont.Calculate Due Date. Worry about Money/Midwife/Body/Family/Friends/Money/Health/New job/Lack of vehicle/Money/Lack of bedrooms/MoneyMoneyMoney.......tell Grandma, tell kids, tell friends, vomit night and day, lose weight, get pale, get zits, get fat, get ostracized, get political, get sick,get connected, get scared, get yr shit together, watch it fall apart, get bigger, get rounder, get new stretch marks (is that possible?), get mislead, get supported, get bad news, get great news, get tested, tested, tested, get hungry, get sick, get tired, get vitamins, get new clothes, get new bras, get new shoes, worry worry worry, get baby names lined up, get setbacks, get loved, get despised, get swollen, get exhausted, get bigger, get rounder, fall apart, lose control, drown in despair, keep it together, get breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry, floors, bills, snacks, menus taken care of, move away, try to breathe, get realistic, get surgery, hold on for 13 more weeks of hell you thought you had carefully averted this time, and then all of a sudden, just like that, the storm is over. The clouds part, the skies open, the sea is calm. And you have this cool, fat, awesome baby and you are not only in your old jeans but you need belts and stuff.

It was one year ago this weekend I found out there was a bun in my oven. The longest year probably of my life, gone in the blink of an eye. October to October. Whole Mama..............................Whole Mama again. Rake some leaves. Start thinking about Halloween stuff. Turn on the furnace for the first time.
Its unbelievably amazing, the whole fricking thing. The Childbearing Year. Good Lordie.

Now, I know I still owe you-all a birth story, but I had to write this right now, and tell you all that I am NOT depressed anymore, not even one smidge. Lots of action over on the Homeschooling Blog and lots to come on the Rock N Roll/Art/life in general front to come, too. Breast and Belly has literally saved my life, and of course I will be on here, more, too. Managing my time with 5 kids now is my new personal challenge, but blogging will never cease.
XOXOXO
Joy

13 comments:

Rixa said...

Yay for the new (or old?) Joy being back again! I am so glad the depression has lifted and that you feel back to yourself again.

Märia said...

Yeah! With both of mine it took until 6 months before I was a whole mama (why isn't there a fifth trimester again?), but maybe that's because I'm just slow.

becks said...

hooray! enjoy it!

Corin said...

God Bless you Joy! Yay! I feel like clapping I'm so happy you are feeling like the *new* old you again.

~smile~

jakesask said...

Glad to hear you're feeling better.

I really enjoyed your post -- what a whirlwind!

MamaVee said...

Whoo HOOOO! So glad you have sunny skies.

Hippy Mama said...

YEAH JOY!!! I'm so glad the cloud has lifted! I look forward to more and more posts.

Shelly said...

It's so good to see you back. :o)

Natalie said...

GREATNEWS!

Judit said...

Aaah that's so nice to hear. Phew.

I second Maria tho... I didn't ever feel such closure with either of my postpartum experiences. I was running to a shrink at 10 months after G's birth, LOL! The weight certainly takes ages to come off, if ever? The only thing that marks the end of the fourth trimester for me is the rather unfair return of my period while I'm still a tired leaky mess. Then my milk slowly but surely starts to dry up despite my desperate attempts to nurse at least for the full first year. (Meanwhile I end up with an infant who doesn't walk, but runs! before their first birthday!?) I guess the 'it's over' feeling, sanity-wise, hits me when they start to reliably sleep a more than 8 hr stretch at night. (Though by that measure, I'm back to a postpartum frame of mind these days!) It's great to hear you've not only seen the glorious light at the end of the tunnel, you're basking in it already :)

Amber said...

yay! great! fabulous! wonderful!
et cetra! (hehe). glad to hear...er, read it.

Kelley said...

Amen, sister! You got it! I'm soooooooooo glad you're feeling better. Yay!!!

CNH said...

Amen.