Poor old blog! Im still here!
Well, we have a cold going around the family, sort of a sore throat that turns into a hacky cough. The bad thing about a big family is that it can take a long long time for something to go through the whole crew---then by the time you are ALL better, a month ? Its time to get sick again! Actually, we have been quite healthy this winter, amazingly so. Quite a change from last year when I was to the point of tears at how we literally didnt get to have a winter whatsoever!
Living across the street from a big park is wonderful, when I do not feel like getting it together to go over there is when I most need it--and the wonderful little froggy rain boots we got the boys from /Target have proved to be indispensable for the omnipresent mud everywhere. I put them in the washing machine and dry them on their sides next to the furnace at night. (They get so muddy, as in, black ooze filling the tops and insides) that a little wipe-down doesnt quite cut it!
The mud is "worth it" for sure, because down in the valley of the park, where obviously, all the water is, there are mallard ducks and sticks to throw and hills to run up and down and it is so joyous to go from bickering over snacks and remotes to running in the sun and watching birds. EVERYtime I feel too tired or whatever to go over there I am always SO glad I did it....until its time to leave!
The little boys have been giving me a run for my money lately. TONS of screaming and defiance and I am trying so hard to be patient, above it all, not taking it personally, but wow. This makes leaving the park, and all the fun times sort of bad. I can warn them about how we have "five minutes left!" and in my heart I know it doesnt matter--when it is time to actually go, all the little single-serving mom and dad "friends" who chatted me up get to now witness the extreme scene. One boy hides, one runs away from me, and/or they scream bloody murder "IM NOT GOING HOME MA-MAAAAAA!!!!!" .....it totally sucks. A million things flash through my head, images of Nanny 911 (television show), trying to not worry about what people think, but grateful for the public keeping me from being "too mean"....embarrassment, worry, annoyance. Do I pull one of those cheesy and idiotic and weird things where I pretend "Im leaving without you?" .....I cant very well go pick them both up and push the stroller, too. I usually just quietly walk away and try not to cry, thinking about where I went wrong and how things didnt ever, ever used to be this way. Ive been practicing deep breathing, waiting a few moments before speaking, etc but its hard. They eventually come but crying like they are being attacked by wolves, I mean, hysterical angry screeching, not boo hoo mommy I love the parky-poo, oh no---its a wonder noone calls the cops on me for stealing little boys, for real.
So yeah, behavior issues have been pretty much all I remember from this week. When kids act that way, the days are long, unrewarding, anxious. Steve gets home today at 1pm and I am completely free to do things that I want to do! I think I will hang some homemade curtains, take pictures for the blog, and sleep. Next weekend is my birthday, April 3rd, and I do NOT want to be sick.