Tuesday eve

Well, winter is long and we have been in a weird limbo. But today was warm, we knew it was coming, watched it move across the country and finally, yes, it was SIXTY degrees here today and we made the most of it. Of course it was muddy as heck, and the rushing water sound was everywhere from the foot of snow that has permanently blanketed our area since xmas time melting melting...we had to take Greta to the dentist but afterwards we met our good friends at a park that we hoped would be vaguely not too wet. It was wet, but its ok we had so much fun, just running and climbing and shouting and the kids fell right into their own immediate and familiar roles of tumbling out of the car and starting up a big game with each other.."Come on!" shouts ringleader Greta and they all just ran away. I gave grand speeches about not stepping directly into mud or lakes of water but Casey and Charlie did on purpose and Greta and Mickey did by accident and oh well. We know it isnt spring yet, not by 2 or 3 months, so we treated it as such, a Christmas in July kind of a freaky treat and we just went with the whole fun of this special rare random warm day. Eska was gasping from the windyness of it but she was very amused by all of the shouting and running and commotion and it was really nice.

We tried something different this year with the fiasco that GirlScoutCookieTime can become...this year we ordered $280 worth of cookies. For us. To have and THEN (hopefully!) sell as we can. If you dont have a girl scout, or any little person in your life who "sells" various popcorn/pizaa kits, etc, it can become a total pain, chasing down people for their 9 dollars, having labeled product take over your living room, carting it and toting it in your car that is already too full of muddy children and strollers....coming up short, feeling horrible if you eat any of the cookies.....forgetaboutit. So tonight I went and picked up all the cases of cookies which like I said, hopefully Steve can just have at his parts counter at work and sell lots of for cash to the hungry guys, and then we can put out a mass email to friends and family that hey, we have these, would you like any, here is what we have left. No scrawly order forms filled out halfway in pale pencil by "Dave" , just one big order by us. Greta will also be expected to work at one of those booths outside of a local store in the upcoming weeks.

We had a HORRID stomach "flu" that took its sweet time moving through 5 out of the 7 of us the past week or two. It is finally gone but it decimated the home life as we knew it and if we ever get caught back up on laundry it will be a miracle. Shudder. It was really bad.

What was cute in retrospect was that once I was done barfing, I started slowly and gently back on things like rice. One Apple. Broth. and I felt all holy and clean and I was totally going to eschew "exciting" foods. I was going to take this as a fresh start, all cleaned out so to speak (sorry to be so gross) and ready to eat and live this simple plain life. NO more coffee, beer, fried food, pop, wild juice blends, zesty deli sandwiches, and especially no more pharmaceuticals--motrin, sudafed, robitussin, tylenol, excedrin, vitamins, I was going to be all green tea girl now. My stomach flu was gonna be this big wake up call......but it didnt last! I am okay with that. It felt really "right" to be all simple and gentle and sparse recovering from a virus and then it felt stupid, inconvenient, and like some poorly timed diet that I was not ready for at all, another undertaking to "fail" at and hate myself at a time when I have ALOT going on and deciding that Mama doesnt get to have meals now would have just been really really bad for all of us and it took Steve's very insightful email yesterday to get me off that kick for a good while.

Today I did have coffee, and a glorious omelette with spinach, red pepper, turkey and black beans in it. I also had real lemonade and a fine italian dinner and tonight I am going to try a couple of girl scout cookies and watch American Idol and enjoy myself quite heartily, thank you very much. Might even have a dark beer with that, too. But no more pills all the time. I am not congested, my headaches seems temporarily gone, too, and we havnt bought any pop in 2 weeks, so lots more water and iced tea and thats a good thing.

I have a complicated history of eating issues (what American doesnt?) and I need to be delicate with these things. There is anorexia in the family and there is a constant battle between media imagery, feminism and self acceptance and realistic health facts that have caught me in a strange web. Since I have been pregnant and nursing my entire adult life, since age 21, there has been that too to blend in. But on the subject of dieting, etc for now all I know is that I cant do it this soon postpartum. Every time I have tried anything before the baby was at LEAST one year old has flopped and my mental health has suffered, something none of us can afford is for mommy to topple again....

Ok enough ramblings! Off to go enjoy the evening. Hope warmish weather heads to all of you this fine February, it is such a lovely sneak peak.