I cannot believe i am this far along. Despite all the stuff I have been going through and adjusting to, I dont FEEL pregnant. I feel weird and different and sometimes ill, exhausted, sore, itchy, old, crabby, messed up, but not pregnant. It is neat, and yet I feel strange about it.
One of the biggest most wonderful things that this pregnancy has been SO different from the other four is that I am not suffering from intense, constant bladder pain. I really thought that that was what "feeling pregnant" meant, to be quite honest. A STABBING, ACHING, 24-7 OVERWHELMING bladder pain. Like you drank a gallon of water and then someone sat on your lap. Every single second. I rarely had any official UTI diagnosed, at the doctor or the midwife, but this was what it was all about for me. I cannot downplay enough how distinct the lack of this feeling has been for me. I can walk and even run through the grocery store, the house, the park. Not for too long, as I get winded but there is NO bladder pain. My kids can jump into my lap, I can squeeze into a few last non-maternity clothes, and, like I said, there is no bladder pain.
I almost wonder if during the last c-section they put my uterus back in differently. Sick right? You are aware that they take the whole thing out and plop it up on your abdomen, right? Sick sick sick but I watch it on TV all the time. I wonder if the people who "didnt get" why I wanted some help postpartum thought that all they did was slice a little line like how you cut a little slit in the hotdog to slip in the cheese slice. : ) No, dude, they take your business right out, and put it back in, and it heals how it will.
I am so happy to be free of this overwhelming and semi debilitating pain, thats for damn sure. Even if they just messed up my nerves and I am numb to it now, that was the number one pinnacle thing, the overriding thing for me why "GOING FOR A WALK" was not my idea of fun when pregnant. It hurt like a knife, and took my breath away and my steps away from me.
Cool and weird and wonderful.
I try to feel the baby kick and I think I did this morning. I did-- I felt a flutter,which my belly would not just randomly flutter, but until I feel the thumps and bangs, I always feel a tiny bit stressed.