Last night, I had a real moment. Epiphany. Deep thought. Tuned in. God. Goddess. Self awareness. Intuition. All, none, other. Doesnt matter. I have been clogged, ruminating, nesting, hibernating, pacing, thinking, thinking, thinking since about November about things, and last night it came to me, from Eska. I was holding her and she was hugging me, and she told me this. Or it was released. Or whatever it was, this is the message. As clear and true as anything that has come to me in a long long time, so I jumped out of bed to post this post to you all, to share with you the message.
It is okay to love us now. All five of us. it doesnt matter anymore how we were born. It just doesnt. Its time to come back together. All of Joy, walk right through all this fragmentation and injury and broken-ness and just be MamaJoy again. Breast and Belly is dead. It was an angry dark blog and it served its purpose, lived out its life cycle. Homeschool is love is dead. It was a defensive blog to impress relatives and serve as accountability to imaginary officials and it livewd out its life cycle. Hearth and Home is not something to be seperate, it is me and it is life. Everything Joy is not shameful or naughty or less important, it is me. A huge part of me. Its all me.
I am going to use this web address for the new Whole-Mama blog that will be up in a few days, because this is my most popular blog, and there are a few awesome folks out there who have links to this one on thier sidebars. On the other 3 blogs I am going to just direct them to this address.
I am so excited! Excited to be OKAY with the fact that I am all of it. A birth writer, a rock star, a homemaker and a married tandem nursing homeschooling mother obsessed with color and form and Oak trees and xylophones and feminism and sourdoughbread. With Blue hair. And combat boots. And and and and and.....
see you soon.