Saturday, January 24, 2009

blown away

This made me sad and ill. I know it is just some nice nurse thingy but it made me almost throw up and I thought I was gonna hit the floor when I read it. So I thought something so emotional might as well be shared.

Its fine advice I guess. It just made me shake with fear. Im not kidding you, I feel so terrified just reading that, memories I guess.

I want to write one called how to get out of bed and run the entire household the day Daddy goes back to work and no one gives a shit if any of you live or die.

I dont know why I am posting this. I guess I have alot more mental stuff/ptsd than I was aware of on this random Saturday. I feel like I have to go to sleep now. thats how upsetting it was for me to even READ anything about c sections and afterwards. I totally did my makeup and we have someone coming over and I am sobbing and ruined my fun eyeshadow that I never wear. Wow.
and ps:
F U C K the person who said just stand up tall. Still cant 7 months later.


Jill said...

I saw that on my blogroll and I couldn't read it either. That was one of the worse parts of my C-section, feeling like my entire body was going to fall out of my incision if I so much as blinked. I'm grateful that it wasn't as bad for me as it was for you, though. Less pain with a C-section my ass!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't walk up right for at least a week after my c-section. It was six months before I felt even close to being 'healed'

It is my understanding that all women in France also get 5 visits at a physiotherapist who specializes in pelvic floor help because incontinence is the #1 under reported health issue for women and it's almost entirely treatable.

It definately reflects the state of our priorities.

There are many treatments for post c-section but we must completely access them ourselves and at our own cost. (physio, massage, chiro, ND, laser therapy, core strength, and the list goes on but so does the price tag)

Anonymous said...

sorry Joy, I forgot to sign my name,
Erin - and i just decided to take out my four kids out of school and full time homeschool them all

hooray for being a homeschooled mom

Kneelingwoman said...

Joy- Sometime soon, I want to come over and do a "blessing way" on your belly/scar/ hurts my heart to know that your surgical births have caused you so much pain and fear. I like the stuff you're advocating about mandatory PT for post op moms(and they should be thought of as "post op" not just postpartum when the birth has been surgical; you are absolutely spot on with that).

I can suggest two possibilities: One is to get involved with one of the organizations that does policy/advocacy work for family caregivers ( like, oh, mothers for instance ) and the other is to take the traning (free, online) for Partners in Policymaking which is ostensibly for people who want to do advocacy work for people, or family members, with disabilities, but the training itself would be valuable for gaining familiarity with Policy and Advocacy work. Keep me posted!

Judit said...

You're right about the post JOy, it is (unwittingly!) so vivid. Its matter-of-fact tone only magnifies the utter vulnerability.

mommasara said...

oh wow
I can't imagine what you went through-I had a vaginal birth and was abandoned too right when I got home from he hospital and it was HARD.
You go girl- I don't know you, but i wish I could have helped you!

-little mad girl said...

i wish i could have helped you too.

Housefairy said...

Thank you so much everyone. Im glad and surprised that the tone of that came across as scary vivid stark to others, as well.

What is ND?

Thank you Michelle I would love to have that ASAP. I am ready.