I would like to start something big. I think it is big. Maybe there are huge columns all over ICAN already on this subject, but well, here it is:
I want physical therapy offered as a matter of course to all women who have had a cesarean. When I think about all the other surgeries that can land you in months of "rehab" and how they just shoved me out the door three times crippled and helpless, and how twisted and mangled and f-ed up my body is after three of these lovely surgeries, I just ---well, I cry and I get angry and I want to help others and I need to help myself and frankly, I think us women deserve more than the small possibility of happening on some little back alley Chinese massage technique guy or internet fumblings---we need follow up care.
I had so much attention and care when I TWISTED--not even broke-- my knee playing soccer when I was 13. Apparently recreational sports injuries are serious biz....mothers are not.
I think of every fool who torqued their elbow water skiing or got whiplash at Whirlyball and the hotubs and special exercises and care and support and medications and little handouts THEY are getting and it makes me wanna---well, I dunno. Maybe I should go take a sword throwing class and cut my belly in half and then I could get some flipping care.
Here's the deal and here is what I am suggesting: I had my c section in June of '08. I saw the doc at a four week check up and told him how bad I was doing and he literally pat patted me. As in, I was crying and hobbling and he told me to get some help around the house and it takes time and buh bye.
I cancelled my health insurance in July '08 thinking we could really use the money. I look back at this move as very symbolic of how I devalued myself and as a flaming red light sign of deep set depression and self hate. But nonetheless, the premiums are over $200 A WEEK and so we dropped it, thinking we could use the money on special things for me but it didnt happen. I dont know if it was self hate it was more like I was too hurt to get myself and 5 children to a doctor (who all "sucked" anyway and didnt listen to me) and we had no car and well, guess I was making the choice for better food and household items. I regretted it as I sunk into depression and had two serious falls but at my husband's job, you can only sign up in January or July so I had to wait.
I have health insurance again now (HALLELUEA!) and want to pursue this. What should I do? I have visions of grandeur (who, me? : )) of like this becoming some landmark case that I pursue for the betterment of all women. I am thinking of first visiting the OB again and telling him what it is that I am asking for. Him denying me and then me pursuing the insurance company or my primary care physician. Them most likely telling me that c section are not considered injuries (??or something along those lines) and me again pursuing the insurance co. And so on.
Does this sound awesome or futile or cool or useless or what? My body is just a wreck and I know that many others are in the same boat, if not worse. Like i told my friend the other day, I can slap on some makeup and show up at the coffee shop and appear to be a vibrant young(ish) mama. But truth be told, I am a brittle, pinched, mangled old thing who can't stand up long enough to even go to the bookstore and read the titles with my head sideways for more than 10 minutes.
Breastfeeding keeps you in your chair, alot. Makes sense. Have the new mom rest. Sit and milk your cubby-bear. But mine is 7 months old and this isnt about doing some crunches. My entire kinesthetics or whatever are all messed up. I do NOT think it should be on me to have to flounder about and "try" a bunch of mysterious exercises and see if i can move the next day. I ASKED the OB at my check up for some exercises and he said go about your normal household activities at 8 weeks. HA. The assertion that a)if you cant do that then oh well I guess you suck and are broken and b) that that counted as ADVICE just disgusted me. Like I had a choice to do anything but. and like I could. you know?
I felt a definite change in healing at 10 1/2 weeks. I could walk for a long time. But that was it. I do not feel any better than when that happened.
I know you could all send me sweet little stretches and moves to do but this is what I am saying, WHY if "they" are so into keeping women's secrets and tricks and truths away from us and forcing the Medical Model onto us do then then not impose some medical healing model onto us? You gave me the damn surgical birth, so wheres my medical healing plan? now its back to garlic and yoga? Does anyone hear the hypocrisy and bullshit of this? Is it on me to find little cyber ladies to send me recipes? Wasnt that SO BAD AND DANGEROUS when i was pregnant? To rely on wisdom and here say and advice of other mamas--isnt that what the doctors and hospitals are so against?
Please tell me what you think.