Friday, July 4, 2008

Advice really really needed.

Ok, y'all, I REALLY need advice and am open to all and anything, help!!!

Obviously I can go to my doctor, but right now he is out of town and I see him in 2 weeks. I need real advice, living words, something. He is a great guy but I am pretty sure he will say "its gonna take time." right as he tells me I cant have any more Vicodin and to take some Motrin. Then I will cry and he will start in about PPDepression. Which I do get and am aware of, but dudes, dudettes, people of the Earth--Why cant I just have a seriously painfilled body and that be dealt with? I dont want Prozac, I want pain-relief, and some exercises that I can actually do in this decrepit position I am in. Cant it be possible to just be owchy and achy and tired and that be ok, do I "have" to be mental? Does anyone agree or get that being in major pain is depressing, period? Not being able to do the things you want or need to do sucking? Cant I just be some guy who got knifed in the alley, does it have to be depession, MUST they guilt trip me so hard about the Vicodin? (I take 1 or 2 a day, 13 left, then no more. Thanks! My family appreciates it! Shove your Motrins up your well-intentioned asses! "they are hard on your liver"....let me worry about my damn liver, Ill take Milk Thistle, it will all work out.....argggggggg)

So, I feel like CRAP. I am asking for real suggestions as to how I am ever, ever going to be a fit and strong girl again--hell, even an upright Mama who goes to homeschool field trip day or the library, seriously. I guess
I will just list what my symptoms are right now. Obviously, my incision area is sore and achy and tender and inside my abdominal "muscles" are just hurting and aching from being upright at all. My back aches--aches so badly. My hands ache like I have severe, severe arthritis--I am that old lady who cant open the medicine bottle now--for real. My bones hurt all over like the flu and I have hot flashes if I "do too much" which literally means do anything beyond quiet babycare things.

I am not going to list everything else that I feel ok about--sore swollen breasts, sore neck, blabla because those are not worrysome to me. those are totally normal and expected and I am fine about that stuff.

But, in my condition, this isnt about me renting some PostPartumBoogyBum exercise tape. I mean, I feel so run down and so horrifically weak and SORE, how the hell am I ever ever going to get it together, so to speak? I have five kids, FIVE--there just absolutely is NO "rest, enjoy this time, " there isnt. My husband does TONS of laundry, dishes, cleaning, takes all the other kids the moment he gets home from work and hustles his BUTT off, but during the day, there is still SO much, even if I dont clean anything, the breakfast! The lunch! the fights! the messes! the toddler insanity! I am NOT supposed to lift Charlie, but I have....Greta helps me when she can, but into the crib, out of the crib, occasional high chair, (im sorry but a quick lift into the highchair or 30 minutes of scrubbing up spaghetti all over the halls and bedrooms because he is "pissed that I had a baby and throws food now?" I have to do highchair.

So, what? walking? yoga? green spirulina drinks? herbs? vitamins?

I cant "treat myself" to any kind of alternative healers because we do not have the money or insurance coverage for it nor do i want to take 5 kids to the chiropractor or acupuncture. I honestly do not know when I would be up for the 5-kid car trip without Daddy but it wont be for a while, thats all I know. Which is depressing and sucky but today we all went to WalMart and I ended up just going back to the car to nurse alone in the heat and it was a fiasco and I was sooooo tired afterwards and even had a creepy sensation like my insides were falling out--total sucky nightmare, the whole thing was a dumb idea but I wanted to go with them....

I could take a class or something cheap if it was evenings. Swimming? Do I bring the baby? Can you do tampons if you didnt have a vaginal delivery? Cant bleed all over the pool....why dont I know anything after 5 babies????

Ok so everyone write and tell me how to get better from this pregnancy and c section and I will owe you eternally. I will eat or take anything and will try anything, magnets, prayers, powders creams pills!


Anonymous said...

Swimming is good. I took babe with me. either on the side of the pool in the car seat, or in with me just moving around. Felt good. Yeah, tampons for an hour would be okay, I have a diva cup... so I don't use them anymore.
Raw honey on the wound. My father swears by it (cancer surgeries), and a lot of other c/s moms have used it with great results.
Sunshine (hopefully you have some!) and a bit of B6? that helped me with the blahs.
Get your iron levels checked? Mine were low at one point and I was all achy too.
Chronic pain is horrible. And it is not necessarily PPD when you are in chronic pain. It is PAIN that wears away at any sense of wellbeing! It is horrific... and you should be able to walk in to a doctors office and say that without judgement or PPD talks!
You said it yourself... you have five kids... and life happens! Of course you are tired and worn down and exhausted beyond belief.
Not sure if anything I suggest is good. but they are words for thought?

Kneelingwoman said...

Joy; I will be happy to come over, and loan you Emma to help out with the kids; or the kids can visit at our house. Yeah, yeah....I know. That can get worked out later. You need some homeopathy ( and If nothing else, let me email you the C section recovery regime; I don't have it in front of me but I can look it up and get it to you; I just happened on to check on how you're doing so, I didn't come prepared ( LOL ). You probably need more rest and that's going to require someone helping out; hands on. I can give you a whole body message and bring some food. I can help around the house. Let me help you! Call me, or e mail and let me know what I can do.

Anonymous said...

Hi Joy
checking iron and also thryroid levels

taking lots of protein and also Acidophollus (the stuff in yogurt) plus maybe consider asking your DR. about the possiblity of infection.

Deeply massaging the incision to help prevent any adhesions which cause pain. The goal is to be able to lift the incision right away from your abdomen

and for the kids - I had to resort to a healthy dose of tv when i was alone - it can all change later - and I took away all the small fiddly toys and only offererd one thing at a time so i suddenly didn't feel over run with lego, blocks, etc... all over.

I'm sorry you feel so much pain

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you have had such a hard time!
It sure sounds like you could possibly have a vitamin d deficiency. The best source is sunshine but you can also supplement with 2,000 I.U.s daily and when you see your doctor, have him do a blood level along with thyroid and calcium levels. Once you actually know where your vitamin d level is, you may need to supplement with 5,000-10,000 daily. Check out and take a look at the expert opinion paper. There has been amazing research about vitamin d.
The type you need to get is vitamin d 3 as cholecalciferol. Good luck!

reticulatedmama said...

all there suggestions are awesome. i also thought of belly binding to help your core.

Angi said...

Joy-You poor sweet dear! You really have to have something to keep the pain under control. You just had major surgery-not to mention everything else that is going on with your body. I too have dealt with PPD, and I would say take the meds you need right now to keep that in check also. If you can just do that as sort of a bandaid until you get through this hard patch (And you WILL get through it!!) it can make a world of difference. It is real! Pain isn't depression-but it can certainly trigger it-or make it worse-truly! I feel for you. You are strong amazing person. Don't let your mind or body tell you differently. Personally I would go the medical/pharmeceutical route right now to get a handle on it, start feeling better and thinking clearly-then think about herbs and vitamins. This time will pass-just hang on.

Genevieve said...

I was coming over to suggest thyroid levels, too. Stress, pregnancy and surgery - all three in your recent history/current life - can contribute to throwing your thyroid for a loop. Most of the things you listed are possible side effects of a thyroid imbalance. So ask your doctor to test your thyroid - TSH for sure, Free T3 and Free T4 would be best to be included. And the iron levels are a great suggestion as well.

Genevieve said...

I know this post is a little late for the immediate postpartum period, but it was next on my bloglines after reading your post and I had to direct you over there. If nothing else, know that you're not crazy and alone - even if that is what the doctor is going to try to do by pushing psych meds your way...

Kneelingwoman said...

Homeopathic Remedies/Regime for C section Recovery: This is taken from Homeopathic Remedies for the Birth Bag compiled by retired Midwife, Patty Brennan ( now Executive Director of The Center for the Childbearing Year here in MIchigan ). The first set are to have been taken immediately post surgery but, I did some checking with a knowledgeable person and you should go ahead and take the regimen from start to finish, as directed:

Arnica 200C - 1 dose hourly x3 doses; then every 3-4 hours for 2 days; can be continued as needed for soreness, tenderness or brusing.
Phosphorus 30C - 1 dose hourly x3 doses to help eliminate anesthesia ( it can be retained in the body for months, so it's not too late to consider this a contributing factor )

Hypericum 200C - Given along with the Arnica for pain. ( I would add here that taking herbal Hypericum ie. St. John's Wort, per tincture, a dropperful every two hours will help "wean" off the pain meds and help with any physical dependence that might have developed to the Vicodin; it is, after all, a narcotic.
Staphysagria 200C - 1 dose only.

For later postpartum; first 6 weeks:

Bellis 30C - 1 dose daily x5 days, after Arnica.
Calc Fluor 6x -2 tablets twice daily for 2-4 weeks to prevent formation of excessive adhesions and scar tissue.
Calendula 30C 1 dose daily x1 week for poor wound healing.

Some additional thoughts: I affirm all the advice given here but want to state clearly the PPD is a real, physical and emotional disorder; not just something that medical people slap on women to "harm" them. We used to accuse them of ignoring it and causing more suffering; now it seems it's more popular to imply that Doctors are diagnosing women with a "psych" disorder instead of just treating their pain with drugs!!!???? Seems a little odd to me to be recommending that we ignore the possible depression and call it something else; anything else, to avoid a "psych" label.

There is no "label". I too, have suffered severe forms of PPD and when there is prior history, the liklihood of repeat is very high and it needs to be factored in to any complaints of excessive postpartum pain or distress. Physical pain is a primary symptom of depression so, I wouldn't count it out. My personal recommendation, as a midwife, for PPD is better social support; more HELP so that the mother can sleep, rest and recover. It takes many weeks, if not several months, to recover fully from childbirth and that's not including a surgical birth! Joy, you need more help, more time and more rest. Try the homeopathy though. I did it with both of my C sections and it helped tremendously; especially with the adhesions! Again, let me know if there is something I can do for you; we ( as a family ) are ready, willing and able to help in any way.

Kneelingwoman said...

Oh, and to purchase the remedies: Try Castle Remedies in Ann Arbor. The number is 734- 973 8990. They are open 9-7 p.m. on Saturdays ( today ) so, try them soon and see if they can Fed Ex the remedies overnight ( I did this when I had Mary; very easy ). Again, I'm going to be around the house all weekend and a light week upcoming; don't hesitate to let me know via e "flair" or post a comment on my blog, telepathy, or whatever you need to do; I'm happy to help.

Anonymous said...

Yoga. Is there a post natal yoga by you? you can bring your baby and nurse and do yoga. i had an unplanned c-section too and with a history of fibromyalgia, i did not heal well and the first few weeks went the vicodin route. get off it. it will make you feel like shit and take you away from yourself and your family. i know it hurts but the vicodin is so horrible for you. try yoga, it saved my sanity and health. hang in there. be strong mama! best of luck.

pinky said...

Joy: My suggestion would be to go to the psychiatrist the OB is suggesting. But also ask for a referal to the pain clinic. When you go to the pain clinic they can verify for your ob or your primary care Doctor that yes, you are in pain. Seeem stupid but.But sometimes you gotta play their game.

Your Doctor should not just deny your request for pain medication and tell you it is post partum depression. If you are taking 800 of motrin and your incisional pain and your other pains are not affected, you need to be worked up.

You could make an appointment with your primary care Doctor and tell him or her what is going on and that you need pain relief. Most of the Doctors are gonna want you to go to the psychiatrist for the questionalbe Post Partum Depression. Go see him just so you can rule that out. Also you could have your psychiatrist prescribe you something like clonopin which is an anti anxiety drug but can help with pain because it will cause your muscles to relax. When your muscles are all tight, your gonna feel more pain.

I am an L&D nurse and have many friends with chronic pain issues. IF you need to chat with me personally I am at would be happy to answer any questions you have and I am so sorry you are suffering.

CNH said...

The first thought in my head reading your post was also thyroid or a deficiency. Especially the aching you describe. I get that when I was severely anemic even if I have no other signs. I ache SO badly I cannot rest well although I want to sleep constantly. But then it also rang bells for thyroid and it's a simple blood test you can ask for when you see him next.

((HUGS)) I know what you mean about being labeled PPD the moment you complain. Sure, yes, you could have PPD! Absolutely. But I wonder sometimes if doctors are quick to jump to that diagnosis because it's so prevalent and maybe miss other things. My anxiety disorder was misdiagnosed PPD because it flared up badly post Hannah. I was being treated incorrectly by my physician and then when the medication he gave me made me worse, he diagnosed me as bi-polar and darn near killed me with medication that made me suicidal and crazy. It was insane. I saw a therapist who finally put the correct label on my issues and we worked them out sans meds.

Sorry, long post to say--get yourself checked out thoroughly. I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. I relate to how hard it is to take care of so many little NEEDY people.

TracyKM said...

Having chronic pain IS depressing. Having unexpected, severe pain (even when it happens for a 'good' reason), IS depressing. I remember my doctor saying "Take a Motrin" and I said they aren't helping. She said "Take two". So, a little 'mental therapy' can help when you're in pain :)
Is it possible too that the pain killers are causing some of the problems? Are your hands stiff, or 'delayed' (they don't work as fast as you tell them). I don't know about the side effects of Vicoden, but it's possible that there are negative issues with it. Maybe there's a different one you can try.

TracyKM said...

I also meant to add, take a B12 supplement (100 mg or mcg, whatever the unit is), a vit. D supplement, and Omega 3 in a ratio to support 'moods' (about 50% EPA). I find these simple, inexpensive supplements (I use store brands) to have a big impact on my emotional well being and ability to cope with pain. And, you also need good, deep sleep to get into the part of the sleep cycle that releases growth hormones. That's SO hard with 'mother's ears', so if someone else could watch baby and you sleep with earplugs, and have them semi-wake you for nursing. Co-sleeping is great for nursing while not really awake, but you don't get into the deep sleep because your body stays on alert (like it should). Even for a couple nights it can make a BIG difference to how you feel.