I have postpartum depression. Surprise! haha
I am going to a group meeting every Monday night now and trying to expedite my way to the moment when I am taking some actual pills. I dont have weeks to wait for appointments and referrals I just want some Wellbutrin. I took it before and it really helped. no side effects except dry mouth and that made me drink some more water which is good! And vivid dreams, but i found them exhilarating and worthy of remembering.
Things around the family are very bad, and we have 3 birthdays this week and we had one last week. No money for any gifts, but will get some cake mixes from the store and promise little parties soon soon soon. I think around November last year they realized they wernt getting bday parties.
In the meantime, its omega fish oil and vitamin D pills. Lots of sleep, trying to stay away from the home (where kids fight all day) and just be quiet when i feel like I am going to say mean things. As an extrovert (who gets her energy re-charged by being with others) this deep desire to be alone, work at a tollbooth, be a long distance trucker, run away to Walden is a bit ( a ton) scary for me and certainly impossible with 5 kids.
Angel baby is just too adorable for words, too hilarious to ever capture, walking like an 18 month old, and just hope and pray she doesnt turn mean hateful or damaged by this kind of mother.
Me and Greta decided to not do a single "hair-do" to her until she turned one year old, so this Thursday she will get a barrette in her darling little bangs. Unlike alot of moms of girls, (myself included with baby Greta) I do NOT adore her long hair in the back it looks like a mullet and we might have it cut straight across to start a little bob.
Daddy turned 35 on the 4th, Greta turns 12 on the 9th, Eskarina turns 1 on the 11th, Mickey turns 9 on the 13th! Gemini overload! But I love Geminis : )
Might not be blogging too much but I will try...